Love me when I'm gone.

If only I could ride the lightning.
Sample the delicate excitement of electric brain waves.
If only I could crash along with thunder.
If I could taste the shimmering clouds way up high, in the great big sky.
If I could set fire to the rain
And flirt with the wind
And let the mist gingerly kiss my little earthly
arms and legs and wrists and ankles and fingers and toes and ears.
Then I would be free

Day 14

If the world were to end tomorrow, what would you do with the rest of your time on earth?

Kiss everyone I know. Hug people. Dance. Yell. Eat like a beast. Spend time with my family. Tell people I care about that I love them. Thank everyone who has helped me. Sing. Play hopscotch. Walk. Smile. Pray. Write. I'd just, live.

Me, Myself, I've got nothing to prove.

You gotta make a decision
You leave tonight or live and die this way

♥

Do what you love, Love what you do.

Trees sway, people change.
You and I have stayed the same.
Picked up right where we left off, like 16 months has not just flew by us.
So free.
Running through an open field without a care in the world,
not looking back.
Just flying until I can't speak and I tumble and fall and you must breathe life back into me
The way the sun breathes into the land and the sea.

Live.♥

Words

Cracked cement turns to green grass

beneath my sneakered feet.

Ideas turn to plans turn to actions as I move from

avenues to silent streets.

Lovely flowers turn to shrubs turn to towering trees

Uncertainty turns to certainty

Changes within me.

Harsh winter takes my sweet summer and turns her to simple Spring to Autumn

When my cracked concrete is covered with fragile leaves

and my greenest grass has faded grey

My sneakers turn to boots



Mini-Vacation

I went camping last night! We're all just trying to squeeze the last bit of fun out of this summer. I drove up with my aunt, and when we got there she found out that they screwed up our reservation. So, my aunt starts crying about how "her girls need this vacation, they've gone through so much" yadda yadda, haha! Soo like my aunt. Anyway, we (we being My aunt, my mom, my sister and I) ended up getting this HUGE campsite meant for big groups, like girl scout troops or something. (The group next to us was a bunch of Mennonites -- who I mistakenly called hermaphrodites, I'll never hear the end of that!) So we laid out on the sandy, sunny, beach, played badminton, had a bonfire, stared up at the gorgeous stars, and sang Bohemian Rhapsody at the top of our lungs at 1am.

What I really love about my aunt, is that she's good to talk to about heavy stuff because she identifies with everyone in my immediate family -- She can relate to my dad, because she herself was a drug addict for 15 years. She gets my mom, because her son is depressed and used to cut himself. (and has been with a lot of crazy men). She understands what I'm going through because her dad was mean to her, too. And she feels my sister because obviously she loves her family very much, but she had to cut ties with a lot of family for the better, and that is what my sister is messed up about.

And as a side note, I forgot how charming my ex was.

Good god, more boy problems already?!

Drew walks by me

I fake a smile so he won't see.. You intimidate me. You're intelligent, yet so arrogant. Endless list of talents.. humility is not one of them. Casual flirting, empty eyelash batting, you're not interested. I'm enchanted by your presence. Legitimate, unforgettable conversations with our big ideas, our large vocabularies, and our differing ideas about society, relationships, religion, and everything in between. Hollister t-shirts. Hair gel. Leadership. I know we have nothing, I don't know how I got so stuck. Thick skin, crooked smile. Vacant flirting, passing notes like we're in elementary school. I will always remember you.

..that I want, and I'm needing everything that we could be.

THIS IS MEE

You're going to have enemies who maybe, get more guys than you. Or have longer legs than you. And it sucks. And you're going to have friends with a better complexion than you, or tighter abs than you. And that sucks even worse. There will be guys who leave you for someone who you might think is more beautiful than you. And we all know how bad that sucks. But in the end, your family, and your true friends, and the guy you deserve isn't going to give a damn if you have a pimple, or a few extra pounds wherever. Because as corny as it sounds, it's what's on the inside that counts.

"Don't let 'em tell you that you ain't beautiful. They can all get fucked. Just stay true to you."

If it Hadn't Been For Lovee

Memories crawling through the window pane 

with the storm and the rain and the cold.

They blow into my mind, they pour into my heart

Quietly beating through it all.

I've missed you.

♥

So I guess it's time to come back to my blog♥ Let me fill you in on all of my big interesting events.

We officially left my dad. We weren't planning on moving until like this weekend, but after one particularly crazy night, where my father told me to go cut myself, we decided to move a little earlier than planned. And we haven't gone back.

I broke up with my boyfriend. He was a terd.

My psychiatrist put me on medication for my depression & anxiety. Prozac. I don't think I've been on it long enough to judge if it's doing what it's supposed to, but so far I haven't had any really low moods. Like, I haven't wanted to die since I've been on it.

I made plans for Labor Day weekend with all of my old friends (: (Robyn, April, Jordan, Jordan and Katelyn) Hopefully everyone can come. We're going to a big festival downtown. I've also caught up with a girl I used to play volleyball with, Jenna, and a girl who I used to be the BEST of friends with her and her twin, Elaine, and my ex-boyfriend who I have missed terribly, Brendan. I hope I'll get to see all of them very soon. (:

I've been eating normal and I've chilled out a bit about that. I've still been cutting, though. One thing at a time, haha. I find it's easier to stop when I'm not focusing on stopping.

I read a few books.

I registered for my new school, and started school clothes shopping.

So for right now, I'm just trying to keep my chin up, and take things slow, keep myself from falling down to where I started. Ya know?

Give me one reason to stay here.

"3 things about alcoholics.. 

They're liars.

They're liars.

..And they're liars."

BUSY

I've been so busy. The internet is finally back up, and eventually I will rant all about my adventures that have gone down in this past week or so, but for now I am too exhausted to think. All I want to do is sleep.

Day #13

Someone I admire...

                I admire my mother. Most teenagers are like, ewww I hate my mom she is so crazy. And while I will say that my mom has had her share of crazy moments, (She is an insane control freak, and is very very anxious.) I far from hate her. She is a strong woman, she has put up with my dad's bullshit since their teenage years, and has stayed with him through all of it. She puts up with me, too, and that alone drives most people up the wall. She has a lot of self respect, and it is too awesome. After every name she has been called, after every rude comment made by my dad or by someone else referring to my dad's mental state, she is still alive and well and totally okay with who she is. She is a single mother: working, cleaning, raising a family alone... But she does it with a husband. And I respect that. I'm very close with my mom, she has a smiley, loud personality and I'm lucky to have her in my life.

Bloggerooni

I decided to see why everyone is ranting and raving about how lovely tumblr is. I'm giving it a try. Check me out? [:

MEAGHAN'S TUMBLR ♥

If anyone else is on Tumblr, feel free to comment with your url, I'll gladly check you out ! :D

Hello, again!

After 7 long, well-deserved days and nights of kayaking, sunbathing, "Catchphrase", family fun, grilled food, sandy hair, and endless verses of "Down by the bay", I'm finally home from lovely Port Hope.



I drank sweet tea all day and enjoyed the nature.



hahahaha. This was the slogan for a little meat shop.

This was the KIDDIE size ice cream cone, at Grindstone General Store. ("The Biggest Scoops In the Thumb!")



My cute grama and my sister chowing down.



How cute is my grandpa, with ice cream all over himself like he is 5 years old♥



My sister again, and Katelyn working on the giant ice creams.



♥♥♥

I love two lane roads in the middle of no where♥♥


On Wednesday, we went to the Huron County Annual Fair! There wasn't a lot to do.. So we looked at all the animals. I saw a baby cow fresh out of the womb!!! :O









We of course went antiqueing (:

Is this not the biggest burger ever?? Holy crap. No one could eat anything else the
whole rest of the day.

And that is an overveiw of my fun vacation.♥