When my mom got home from work, he said something to her and all of a sudden was telling her to shut the eff up because he was a grown ass man and he can do whatever the eff he wants to, and blah blah blah. Suddenly I put two and two together and I realized, oh my god I bet he relapsed.
Before I knew what was happening, my mom, my little sister and I were flying down the freeway on the way to grammy's house.
Grammy's house is now my house. We're all done with the hurting. We decided he needs to get his shit together, and he needs to make some decisions by himself. We don't need to be around for him to walk all over us in the meantime.
So, everything is official, I'm going to register in the lovely school district of The Promised Land where my grandmother lives. (Plus, my therapist's office is right downtown-- How convenient!) We were moving out of our house anyway, we were house hunting with my dad. So he has to be out of our old house by October, anyway. So, he kind of screwed himself on this one.
Someone said to me, "Wow, that sucks. I kind of feel bad for him." You know what I said? I disagree with you. I used to feel sorry for the man everyday. I'd look at him and I could see he was just miserable, I would be too. He hated his life, his family hated him, he was caught in the downward spiral of addiction. But he received a gift. He went into treatment, ($1000 A DAY treatment, mind you.) he was given the tools he needed to restart. He had his new beginning, his second chance.We all took him in with open arms and forgave him for all the pain he has caused us in the past, and decided to learn to love him sober, his real self. And he threw it all away. So you know what? I'm damn tired of feeling sorry for him. He was given the best tools, he was given more support than anyone could ask for. He had an opportunity for a better, happier, healthier life. Clean and Sober. With a wife and children. And he trashed it. So I'm done feeling bad for him. I have bigger, better things to concern myself with and I will not stoop to his level anymore.
It's upsetting, because he is truly a good man, and a decent father.. Sober. I was beginning to respect and love him again. I guess I should've know better, huh?
All in all, this move is for the best. I'm stressing out, but, it is a healthy decision for all of us.
A big downside is, I won't be able to blog until we get the computer moved in and the Internet up and running, which might not be until the middle of August! :(
I'll miss all my favorite blogs and followers.. Don't forget about me, I'll be back before you know it!
“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”
(:
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