Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Maybe I'm Just Blind

 "Well I won't be the one to disapoint you anymore.
And I know, I've said all this so that you've heard it all before."

            I'm sorry I make you angry, I really don't mean it. Owning up to my feelings and thoughts is scary, sometimes its just a whole lot easier to pretend I'm okay. I can't help being afraid. I don't even know what to do, half the time I don't even know whats wrong I just know that I hate that somethings wrong and I hate myself for not saying anything. I drive myself crazy. Your nothing but nice to me, and patient with me, and I don't talk and that makes you angry and then I get scared. And then I think about the horrid things that shouldn't be in my head but they are. And that scares me even more because you think those bad things are all gone; you think I have minor problems, you think that I am happy and that I am content. No, no, no, oh no. I need help. I need a lot of help. You are my only lifeline. But you are too sensitive, too fragile to handle that aren't you? I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I can't talk, for I can't lie to you. But I do oh my God i do. I am so sorry for doing this. I have nothing else.

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