Love me when I'm gone.

If only I could ride the lightning.
Sample the delicate excitement of electric brain waves.
If only I could crash along with thunder.
If I could taste the shimmering clouds way up high, in the great big sky.
If I could set fire to the rain
And flirt with the wind
And let the mist gingerly kiss my little earthly
arms and legs and wrists and ankles and fingers and toes and ears.
Then I would be free

Day 14

If the world were to end tomorrow, what would you do with the rest of your time on earth?

Kiss everyone I know. Hug people. Dance. Yell. Eat like a beast. Spend time with my family. Tell people I care about that I love them. Thank everyone who has helped me. Sing. Play hopscotch. Walk. Smile. Pray. Write. I'd just, live.

Me, Myself, I've got nothing to prove.

You gotta make a decision
You leave tonight or live and die this way

♥

Do what you love, Love what you do.

Trees sway, people change.
You and I have stayed the same.
Picked up right where we left off, like 16 months has not just flew by us.
So free.
Running through an open field without a care in the world,
not looking back.
Just flying until I can't speak and I tumble and fall and you must breathe life back into me
The way the sun breathes into the land and the sea.

Live.♥

Words

Cracked cement turns to green grass

beneath my sneakered feet.

Ideas turn to plans turn to actions as I move from

avenues to silent streets.

Lovely flowers turn to shrubs turn to towering trees

Uncertainty turns to certainty

Changes within me.

Harsh winter takes my sweet summer and turns her to simple Spring to Autumn

When my cracked concrete is covered with fragile leaves

and my greenest grass has faded grey

My sneakers turn to boots



Mini-Vacation

I went camping last night! We're all just trying to squeeze the last bit of fun out of this summer. I drove up with my aunt, and when we got there she found out that they screwed up our reservation. So, my aunt starts crying about how "her girls need this vacation, they've gone through so much" yadda yadda, haha! Soo like my aunt. Anyway, we (we being My aunt, my mom, my sister and I) ended up getting this HUGE campsite meant for big groups, like girl scout troops or something. (The group next to us was a bunch of Mennonites -- who I mistakenly called hermaphrodites, I'll never hear the end of that!) So we laid out on the sandy, sunny, beach, played badminton, had a bonfire, stared up at the gorgeous stars, and sang Bohemian Rhapsody at the top of our lungs at 1am.

What I really love about my aunt, is that she's good to talk to about heavy stuff because she identifies with everyone in my immediate family -- She can relate to my dad, because she herself was a drug addict for 15 years. She gets my mom, because her son is depressed and used to cut himself. (and has been with a lot of crazy men). She understands what I'm going through because her dad was mean to her, too. And she feels my sister because obviously she loves her family very much, but she had to cut ties with a lot of family for the better, and that is what my sister is messed up about.

And as a side note, I forgot how charming my ex was.

Good god, more boy problems already?!

Drew walks by me

I fake a smile so he won't see.. You intimidate me. You're intelligent, yet so arrogant. Endless list of talents.. humility is not one of them. Casual flirting, empty eyelash batting, you're not interested. I'm enchanted by your presence. Legitimate, unforgettable conversations with our big ideas, our large vocabularies, and our differing ideas about society, relationships, religion, and everything in between. Hollister t-shirts. Hair gel. Leadership. I know we have nothing, I don't know how I got so stuck. Thick skin, crooked smile. Vacant flirting, passing notes like we're in elementary school. I will always remember you.

..that I want, and I'm needing everything that we could be.

THIS IS MEE

You're going to have enemies who maybe, get more guys than you. Or have longer legs than you. And it sucks. And you're going to have friends with a better complexion than you, or tighter abs than you. And that sucks even worse. There will be guys who leave you for someone who you might think is more beautiful than you. And we all know how bad that sucks. But in the end, your family, and your true friends, and the guy you deserve isn't going to give a damn if you have a pimple, or a few extra pounds wherever. Because as corny as it sounds, it's what's on the inside that counts.

"Don't let 'em tell you that you ain't beautiful. They can all get fucked. Just stay true to you."

If it Hadn't Been For Lovee

Memories crawling through the window pane 

with the storm and the rain and the cold.

They blow into my mind, they pour into my heart

Quietly beating through it all.

I've missed you.

♥

So I guess it's time to come back to my blog♥ Let me fill you in on all of my big interesting events.

We officially left my dad. We weren't planning on moving until like this weekend, but after one particularly crazy night, where my father told me to go cut myself, we decided to move a little earlier than planned. And we haven't gone back.

I broke up with my boyfriend. He was a terd.

My psychiatrist put me on medication for my depression & anxiety. Prozac. I don't think I've been on it long enough to judge if it's doing what it's supposed to, but so far I haven't had any really low moods. Like, I haven't wanted to die since I've been on it.

I made plans for Labor Day weekend with all of my old friends (: (Robyn, April, Jordan, Jordan and Katelyn) Hopefully everyone can come. We're going to a big festival downtown. I've also caught up with a girl I used to play volleyball with, Jenna, and a girl who I used to be the BEST of friends with her and her twin, Elaine, and my ex-boyfriend who I have missed terribly, Brendan. I hope I'll get to see all of them very soon. (:

I've been eating normal and I've chilled out a bit about that. I've still been cutting, though. One thing at a time, haha. I find it's easier to stop when I'm not focusing on stopping.

I read a few books.

I registered for my new school, and started school clothes shopping.

So for right now, I'm just trying to keep my chin up, and take things slow, keep myself from falling down to where I started. Ya know?

Give me one reason to stay here.

"3 things about alcoholics.. 

They're liars.

They're liars.

..And they're liars."

BUSY

I've been so busy. The internet is finally back up, and eventually I will rant all about my adventures that have gone down in this past week or so, but for now I am too exhausted to think. All I want to do is sleep.

Day #13

Someone I admire...

                I admire my mother. Most teenagers are like, ewww I hate my mom she is so crazy. And while I will say that my mom has had her share of crazy moments, (She is an insane control freak, and is very very anxious.) I far from hate her. She is a strong woman, she has put up with my dad's bullshit since their teenage years, and has stayed with him through all of it. She puts up with me, too, and that alone drives most people up the wall. She has a lot of self respect, and it is too awesome. After every name she has been called, after every rude comment made by my dad or by someone else referring to my dad's mental state, she is still alive and well and totally okay with who she is. She is a single mother: working, cleaning, raising a family alone... But she does it with a husband. And I respect that. I'm very close with my mom, she has a smiley, loud personality and I'm lucky to have her in my life.

Bloggerooni

I decided to see why everyone is ranting and raving about how lovely tumblr is. I'm giving it a try. Check me out? [:

MEAGHAN'S TUMBLR ♥

If anyone else is on Tumblr, feel free to comment with your url, I'll gladly check you out ! :D

Hello, again!

After 7 long, well-deserved days and nights of kayaking, sunbathing, "Catchphrase", family fun, grilled food, sandy hair, and endless verses of "Down by the bay", I'm finally home from lovely Port Hope.



I drank sweet tea all day and enjoyed the nature.



hahahaha. This was the slogan for a little meat shop.

This was the KIDDIE size ice cream cone, at Grindstone General Store. ("The Biggest Scoops In the Thumb!")



My cute grama and my sister chowing down.



How cute is my grandpa, with ice cream all over himself like he is 5 years old♥



My sister again, and Katelyn working on the giant ice creams.



♥♥♥

I love two lane roads in the middle of no where♥♥


On Wednesday, we went to the Huron County Annual Fair! There wasn't a lot to do.. So we looked at all the animals. I saw a baby cow fresh out of the womb!!! :O









We of course went antiqueing (:

Is this not the biggest burger ever?? Holy crap. No one could eat anything else the
whole rest of the day.

And that is an overveiw of my fun vacation.♥ 

Also!

I failed to mention that I'm going up north next week!!! We're leaving on Sunday! We're staying in a little cottage on a beach about 3 hours from here. "We" being my Grandma, my mom, my sister, my uncle, my aunt, my great grandpa and I. I'm going to take zillions of pictures and I will post them along with all of my adventures that I go on! : )

I'm pretty sure the name of the beach is "Hope." Pretty coincidental with what we're all going through in my family right now.

Here We Go Again..

My dad got home from work yesterday, sunburned and exhausted, as usual. He went into the fridge and he started to shout at me for not eating something that he could've taken in his lunch. I thought it was a little odd, but thought nothing of it.
When my mom got home from work, he said something to her and all of a sudden was telling her to shut the eff up because he was a grown ass man and he can do whatever the eff he wants to, and blah blah blah. Suddenly I put two and two together and I realized, oh my god I bet he relapsed.
Before I knew what was happening, my mom, my little sister and I were flying down the freeway on the way to grammy's house.
Grammy's house is now my house. We're all done with the hurting. We decided he needs to get his shit together, and he needs to make some decisions by himself. We don't need to be around for him to walk all over us in the meantime.
So, everything is official, I'm going to register in the lovely school district of The Promised Land where my grandmother lives. (Plus, my therapist's office is right downtown-- How convenient!) We were moving out of our house anyway, we were house hunting with my dad. So he has to be out of our old house by October, anyway. So, he kind of screwed himself on this one.
Someone said to me, "Wow, that sucks. I kind of feel bad for him." You know what I said? I disagree with you. I used to feel sorry for the man everyday. I'd look at him and I could see he was just miserable, I would be too. He hated his life, his family hated him, he was caught in the downward spiral of addiction. But he received a gift. He went into treatment, ($1000 A DAY treatment, mind you.) he was given the tools he needed to restart. He had his new beginning, his second chance.We all took him in with open arms and forgave him for all the pain he has caused us in the past, and decided to learn to love him sober, his real self. And he threw it all away. So you know what? I'm damn tired of feeling sorry for him. He was given the best tools, he was given more support than anyone could ask for. He had an opportunity for a better, happier, healthier life. Clean and Sober. With a wife and children. And he trashed it. So I'm done feeling bad for him. I have bigger, better things to concern myself with and I will not stoop to his level anymore.
It's upsetting, because he is truly a good man, and a decent father.. Sober. I was beginning to respect and love him again. I guess I should've know better, huh?
All in all, this move is for the best. I'm stressing out, but, it is a healthy decision for all of us.
A big downside is, I won't be able to blog until we get the computer moved in and the Internet up and running, which might not be until the middle of August! :( 
I'll miss all my favorite blogs and followers.. Don't forget about me, I'll be back before you know it!

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”

(:

Day Number Twelve

Name things you do every day.

1. Shower.
2. Drink water.
3. Text :O
4. Smile

                                 I lead a pretty average life, haha. Nothing crazy! 

Men, men, men, men. Manly men men men

         "A boy is a noise with some dirt on it."

    Sometimes I wish I were a boy. You can roll around in the mud and mom won't yell over the stain. You wouldn't have to worry about the calories you packed on during your midnight ice cream binge, and if you were, you'd work it off "playing ball with the guys" anyway, no worries. If you were "stretching the truth" to impress a girl, at least you get a few kisses out of it. Girls go to crazy lengths to impress other girls and all we get is back stabbed. Sometimes I just want to hang around in my underwear all day and have it be acceptable. I'd like to be able to cuss my brains out and not be told it's "unladylike" and "a turnoff." Plus, a guy will just punch you if he has a problem. How much easier would that be than the stupid, prissy games girls try to play?  The only thing I think I would miss is being able to blame PMS when I'm crabby. You know what, scratch that, not having PMS at all would be worth it.

(P.S. my friend Val works at Big Boy! It's funny, because Val is usually the one to tell me to "act like a lady!" That's the reason I used the Big Boy boy.♥)

Day #11

What can you not live without?

Well, other than the obvious things (e.g. food, water, shelter, clothing) I'd say I'd have a pretty rough time living without paper and something to write with. Creating is sort of my life. I have so many ideas in my head that if I didn't have a way to get them out I think I would most likely explode.

BOOM.

Day 10

What article of clothing do you wear the most?

The ever-controversial fashion item: Skinny jeans!♥

In Washington D.C.

Partying like a rock star?

Homecoming float♥ With momma bear.

With Katelyn

With Santa!

When my walls were pink and plastered with posters.

Before a talent show with Katelyn

With Vermigs (:

Preforming in a talent show

First day of school!

HEY!♥

I just caught a bug in my hand, and I opened my hand and it was still alive and flew away. So the fluttery little fella is still flapping around the room. >:|

I'm not a miserable person, I'm truly not. I seem like I am on this blog, though. I ought to work on that.

I'm so glad I'm not a vegan, they can't eat ANYTHING! A woman my mom works with asked me to make her delicious vegan cookies and I am in awe that so many foods are not vegan-friendly! It's going to be a challenge. I'll let you know how they turn out. Baking is my favorite.

This post is really about nothing. :D That's okay. I'm down.

I'm going to go drink some tea and watch Intervention all night, bye♥




♥



"If you want to fly, you have to give up the things that weigh you down."

Day #9

My favorite quote, and how it relates to my life.

"When there are no enemies within, the

enemies outside cannot hurt you."

If you read my blog you probably could make a pretty good assumption as to why this quote is something I connect with. This is my favorite quote because when I'm having a rough time with my self esteem or with anything, really, And I'm just thinking, "Wow, Lynch, you are such an idiot." or "Wow, you are so ugly." Or like, "Geez, everyone hates you, did you hear what she said?" I just remember that if I love myself first than I won't have as many problems, and the things people say that bother me won't hurt because I am content with who I am.

♥♥

Day Number Eightt

If I had to live off of one food and beverage for the whole rest of my life...

Beverage I'd pick water. Water is my favorite. Plus, you can make other beverages with water (Tea, lemonade, Kool-aid, etc.) I found a loop hole haha! I win!
I don't know what kind of food I'd choose. Maybe hamburgers. Or lasagna. Or sushi. MMM or red lobster biscuits. Can I pick a resturant instead, and only eat food from there? Olive Garden. Om nom nom nom nom.

A Dream Within A Dream♥

Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow-
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand-
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep- while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?

-Edgar Allen Poe

Day 7 :)

How old do you think you act?

I think that I act like a child: I learn new things everyday. I want to take over the world. I have big dreams. I like to learn. I don't take things seriously. I pretend.
Yet, sometimes I act like a typical teenager: I over react. I stress for no reason. I'm a perfectionist. I do things I shouldn't do even though I know I shouldn't do them. I cave under peer pressure.
And from some aspects I act like an adult: I take care of myself. I speak very well. I have good insight. I have mature ideas. I know right from wrong. I think for myself.

So I guess if I were to add those ages together.. I'd be like 50. Haha. That's something to think about.

These are a few of my favorite thiiings

Arts and crafts. Baking. Converse sneakers. Learning. Stories brought back from Alcoholics Anonymous. Colors.. Sunshine. Uno. Winning at Uno. Books. Playing doubles tennis with DJ. Useless facts. Fire hydrants. Kick ball. Air conditioning. Taking walks. Movies that make you think. Scattergories. Volleyball in the dark. Building sandcastles. Candles. When snow makes that "crunch" sound when you step on it with your boot. Making people laugh. Seashells. Iced capps from Tim Hortons. Baseball games. Beach volleyball. People who make my brain work when I talk to them. Sunglasses. New York. Grammar. Big dogs. Shampoo. Music. Flowers. Adjectives. "Volleyball season." Art. Black nail polish. Water. Reading poetry. Writing poetry. Minute Made frozen lemonade cups. The zoo. Skinny jeans. Those Swiffer mop things. Christmastime. Polka dots. Painting. Ms. Sleek. Alliterations. Homecoming. Carmel Frappes from McDonalds. Laughing. Flip flops. Red Lobster biscuits. Storms. Figurative language*. Thinking. Bubbles. Office supplies. Downtown Royal Oak. Student Government. Museums. Italian food. Reading. Fireworks. Roller coasters. Book stores. Subway eat fresh. The Nanny. Interesting people. My dogs. Fluffy pillows. Burts bees minty chapstick. Singing. Sleeping. Ticonderoga pencils. Blogging :). Helping. Clothes. Rocks. Paper clip necklaces. Race For The Cure. Underwear. Starbucks ice cream. Bonfires. Shoes. Putting new music on my ipod. Photo booth. Meeting new people. Clever commericals. Wreaking havoc when I go to work with my mom. Makeup. Big breakfasts. Smores. Things that are shaped like hearts.

DAY SIX

If I could live anywhere in the world...
I'd choose New York City. It's beautiful, and it's like no where else. There is so much history there, and so much to see and learn and it's just a city to embrace your life in.

The picture on the top of my blog is of NYC. Because I love it there♥

I picked a picture with Lady Liberty in it on purpose... Happy Fourth (:

I need coffee

If one cigarette takes off 7 minutes of your life when you smoke it
How many do I need to smoke to kill me tonight?



O_o

4-19-10

Be quiet, be quiet

they whisper.

Fifteen more minutes until we're out of here.

You grab my hand and

Sing to me a sweet secret in my ear

My favorite time of the day

Not because we're almost out, like I say

Because I am with you

The only reason that I come.

We can sit

And talk

And wrestle with thumbs

I'm in love with you

and then some.

<3

Day 5

Do I read?

I LOVE TO READ!
I'm in love with the Harry Potter series,♥♥♥ (Just thinking about Deathly Hallows: Part  Two makes me want to jump for joy! ONLY 16 MORE DAYS.)
And I loveeee Ellen Hopkins books.
And the Twilight Saga, of course!
I love the book Willow by Julia Hoban.
I'd say my favorite book is It's Kind of a Funny Story by Ned Vizzini.

Reading is my favorite, deffinetly.

♥ I'm a Pot-head. HAHA! Get the joke?

Day #4

Hmmmm 5 things from my wishlist?!


1.) A laptop :(((

2.) New clothes♥♥

3.) One of those really nice (expensive) cameras

4.) Makeuppp

                                                                                      5.) Some friends .

Let's talk about it!

Just thought I should make it known that Curling is not a sport. It's pushing a rock with a broom. Not a sport, in any way :D



Curling hair is more of a sport.



We Did a Bullying Unit .

We walk a fragile line
A lopsided line within our heads
The Mean Girls thought they were just fine
Until they saw their victim dead.
They say that they aren't killers
Even though the girl is gone
We have no fingerprints, no evidence
So we can't prove them wrong.
She was barely in high school, she was only 15.
The bullies were ruthless, angry and mean.
She took her own life, January 14th.
So much left of the world they didnt let her see.
After a long day, she hung herself up by her neck.
This kind of tragedy has happened every day since.
Now the bullies are living a life of regret
Because they couldn't stop bullying
Until they killed Phoebe Prince.

4-20-10

Warm, bright, round.
Never makes a single sound
But somehow manages to make itself heard
In love with the clouds, best friends with the birds
Knows its way up
and of course, the way down
Shiny, perfect, deep.
Represents all life
Without itself, knowing how to breathe.
A great pit of fire,
There in the sky
The heart of all passion,
Up who knows how high
Energizing, unrealistic, fun
Its life has only just begun
We've learned it's old
But it seems so young!
It makes the world a better place to love.
If I could live on fantasy
I would live and breathe and be
The sun
♥

6-27-10

I'm finally just glad
Sitting in this rain
Without an ex boyfriend or a dad
To cost me blood and pain
You really make me happy
And I just don't know what to do
This is the realest love
This whole time, I saw right through
But all that matters is I'm here now
Here, standing next to you
I thought I needed something new
When really, truly
All along what I needed was right here
In front of me
The two of us
Feel like a dream
A dream that is the realest thing
Finally, oh finally.
I can dream my happy dream

<3

Happy Summer (:

I found a load of old poetry that I've written, I think I'll post some of it up here.
I made a rainbow cake, it's lovely!
Does anyone see anything I post? O_o
I feel like I'm just talking to myself. So feel free to let me know if you're reading this! :D

There is a thunderstorm going down where I live.

"When there are no enemies within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you."

Day 3

If I had to choose a time period to be born in..
1960s. Without a second thought♥
Everyone just had sex and did drugs and people were who they were then. I think it's intriguing how different society is now. Plus, the music is awesome.♥♥

♥