Trying to pretend that I don't feel anything.

Dear Everyone:

I'm sorry I didn't turn out like I was supposed to.Things are going to get better now. I'm going to be courageous. I'm so scared. To everyone behind me: Thank you. To everyone who listened, who noticed, who cared: Thank you. To everyone who sees past the smile: Thank you. To everyone else: I don't need you anymore.

                                               -Meaghan

Crashing

I'm done. I'm so done.
I need the help I need the help I need the help.
I am scared of the world, of society, of the looks and the faces and the poking fun.
But tonight I scared myself.
I'm done betraying everyones trust and making people think I'm okay.
I'm not okay.
I'm going to be brave with you.
And get the help I need.
Because I almost stopped with my wrists
And started in on my throat.
I'm sorry.
I made such a mess.
I'm so scared.
I can't even be poetic anymore, this is so old.
When will I get better?
When will I learn

I'm a hazard to myself.

My dad is a psycho alcoholic.
My mom is a control freak who is stuck in her past.
My sister is a whiny prick who thinks she knows everything.
My life is a mess.

Today I tryed my best to look pretty, and I felt good.

Then I lost it.

Today I got lost in a book about love.

Today my ankle bled all over my blanket.

It was from my razor.

(But not from shaving.)

Today I cryed leaving my boyfriend's house because I

didn't want to come back home to this hell.

I'm slipping.

Some say it's just this age, things will get better, you don't

know stress, your problems are minimal.

That is what I hear.

So what happens now?

"Everyday I fight a war against the mirror, I can't take the person starin' back at me.
I'm a hazard to myself, Don't let me get me. I'm my own worst enemy,
Its bad when you annoy yourself. So irritating. Don't wanna be my friend no more.
I wanna be somebody else."

Don't Rain On My Parade

HELLO MY LOVELY TWELVE FOLLOWERS♥ How are all of you? I miss you terribly. I'm awfully sorry for the lack of posts lately, I keep getting distracted by other things: tennis is starting up, the MASC\MAHS Conference, I've been sick, and trying to finish a book that I just can't seem to get through. AHHH.

I really hate those little things that ask you to "verify the visual code" before you can leave a commet. They are so useless. All they do is piss people off, they aren't proving anything. Grrr.

"I've tryed everything but givin' in." So I'm gonna do it. I know you can all keep a secret.